Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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