he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
