Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
