Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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