so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
