On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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