dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
