Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
