I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Are my feet made of real feet?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
