Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
