Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
