i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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