tell your sister to shave her snatch
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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