She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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