We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize