I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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