i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize