u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
