Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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