Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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