his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
