Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
