those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize