been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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