you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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