What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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