Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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