Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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