Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
