Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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