Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
