Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
