Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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