When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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