Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
