but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
