We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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