I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
