You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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