the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
