Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
