You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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