The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
