piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize