all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
