I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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