Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
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The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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