I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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