Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
