Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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(706): View more from Georgia

Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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(562): View more from California

I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell

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(801): View more from Utah

He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.

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(410): View more from Maryland

You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?

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