I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize