i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
