Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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