remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
