Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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