So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
