Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
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Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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