Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
