Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she peed on how many people?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
