she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
