fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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