how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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